Sometimes I hate the fact that he can manage to make me feel happy right away, or even effortlessly.

Since I wasn’t born just yesterday and it’s proven and tested that when things go a little too perfect, it will eventually be gone before you know it, I have long expected it that things won’t be the same again, ever. Or worse, that it will never happen again. Of course it went that way. I have nothing against it or what. It’s reality anyway. But all I want to lose is the feeling of disappointment or dismay every time things don’t go the way I want or thought it would. I know I won’t be able to avoid that feeling either, but at least make it less and let it not stay for too long until it depresses me. I hate feeling depressed about love. It makes me feel unworthy and desperate sometimes.
Sometimes I just want to end up not giving a damn about it. At least I won’t have to go through feeling upset.
You might think I should be feeling all great right now, or maybe that’s what’s expected of me to be feeling, but i’m not. i wish i was, but i’m not. 😦
and so i thought being in love makes you feel nice all the time? i knew they were wrong. i just thought that it would be possible, but it wasn’t. everyone have been wrong with everything about this all my life. i wish they would talk about what’s true and not give you false hopes or anything anymore..

2 thoughts on “Thought#1

  1. ‘Sometimes I hate the fact that he can manage to make me feel happy right away, or even effortlessly.’ ikr? i hate how that one person can change your feelings without even trying and they don’t even notice it. wow, that sounded kinda selfish don’t ythink? i don’t even know why should i hate that but i just don’t like the fact that they can make you feel absolutely happy to breaking your heart in a second. the fact that they’re not aware of what they’re doing makes it so fsad.

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