Sometimes living is like walking in pavements. Some may get a little bumpy or we get tripped by cracks every now and then, or we would feel like there’s no point in going any further because you don’t even know where it really leads you, but there’s always gotta be something good while we’re in it. You get to look beyond just the pavement and appreciate what’s out there for everyone even by just sight seeing or stopping by, and in times, you’d see flowers on sidewalk cracks, which you call real friends. 🙂
Lately I’ve been in my most weird mood. Feeling happy, then all of a sudden would just cry out of frustrations or dismay. It made me want to feel numb from all the things that could get me sad, or even those that can make me feel good, cos I know, having it to end will eventually make me feel sad again.
But then I realized that the world’s too big to be occupied by just me and feel too lonely. I knew I wasn’t alone and I’m too grateful to see people who cared enough and tried to make me feel better. I had to admit I tried holding back everything and keep it just to myself, well actually, it’s always been that way, because I don’t want them to get affected with what I’m feeling, or I don’t want them to get involved with any situation I’m in. I told this to few of my good friends, and they thought it wasn’t right. I know it wasn’t. but I guess that’s just what I’m used to. They told me I was being too hard on myself and that they’re losing their part as “friends” when I decide to just keep it to myself.
So I guess they were right. I am being too hard on myself. I was too concern with others and had already forgotten myself. It made me realize that caring for others is not enough and will eventually be very hard when you have nothing left for yourself. You will end up giving what’s not right anymore and you wouldn’t even notice it because you’re all torn and tired cos of being so selfless or careless with yourself.
Since I’m all good right now, and I’m pretty glad I still am, I’m going to REALLY work on myself and be as optimistic as I can be. I’m making this a goal, and a promise. I know this wont be easy and I doubt that I wont be feeling depressed and all again anymore, cos that’s inevitable, but I will make it a point that I wont make it last long or take over me. 😉 and I guess I’ll be needing some help from my little flower-like friends who would suddenly pop out from nowhere, making my day. 😉
I would like to thank my friends who really tried comforting me, and also to those who cheered me up without even trying to. Such a big help. It means A LOT to me. I would also like to apologize for being.. like what I was these past few days or even before. If ever I was too cold, or I was snobbish, I’m really sorry.
* Of course, to my ever dearest cousin-slash-best friend, Angelique Olea who never got tired with putting up with my attitude and behavior. Thank you for always trying, and I’m sorry for not being really open to you with this part. Don’t worry, I will from now on. 😉
* To my only boyfriend.. with the s on the end(HEHE), Melissa Juan, who would always be there to listen(or read).. even when the texts get cut. :)) AND for comforting me even when you yourself needed one. Sorry if it’s always about me most of the time. hehe will make it less. haha
* To my slickest slick, Erika Liwanag who could be the only person who appreciates my blogs and would even leave comments, AND would show concern. I miss you so bad. Everything could have been better in person. but I swear I appreciate how we can communicate through this.
* To the only pillow that can talk, Byron Aguirre, for being so thoughtful and for being someone who never failed to show concern. Sorry when I don’t reply, I just really get too lazy sometimes. hehe
* To the little sweet Miguelito I know, Migs Almendral for always making me feel my worth, and for making me feel good with the bluffs and conversations about random things. i know you’ll never get mad about me not replying, but I will try not to be lazy again.. but it still depends. hehe
* and to my sweetest Baby, Kyle Miso, who never fails to cheer me up by just greeting me or just by smiling at me or by being so sweet.. or by listening to my corny(i know) jokes, and to his cousin Charles, Bea, Tisay, Quiolo, and my cute baby Enriquito! Just by waving everytime you pass by or smiling or when you call me, I swear it always makes my day. 😉
I LOVE YOU GUYS. xx