I still have a lot to do and study for but since I am thoroughly anxious, pressured, tense, and whatever you’d want to describe or call it, I am “like that” and I’d just like to vent it out here.

August is obviously the “month hell”.

Well, at least for us Mass Comm students in SSC, and by hell I didn’t mean that it’s a bad month, it’s just a month full of pressure and stuff. Stuff like; scripts and radio production, midterms, minor track/ panel interview, and philo activity ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Not really all at the same time cos you can’t have a subject along with another subject, but you get what I mean.

Time management, priorities, and being intellectually right about everything, if not, then at least almost everything. This is all we need and I gotta say, it’s just so damn hard to deal with.

Also to add are the things people say to you which doesn’t help to make you feel motivated, instead make you feel bad about everything. What more can you ask for?

One, I can’t decide on which to do or focus first on, since all the subjects seem equally important to the rest.

Two, which of the major subjects to work on harder.

Three, to do scripts and productions, memorize all the things that were taught in all subjects, and get to do & answer them right.

Four, people often use words that would make you feel upset as a way of motivating you. I know that’s useful, but after all the stress and pressure? I don’t think that’s gonna work and it’ll only make us feel a lot more dismayed and could also make us feel like giving up.

and Five, the tension in choosing our minor track, by a panel interview with the professors.

So far, I still don’t know how I am able to take this and how I was able to get through a few important things already, but I am just thankful that I am able to get this far. Yes, I would still want to know how I was able to take all the pressure without crying or having tantrums.

There were days when I still go through them with a little help of a comfort food and by crying, but I’m surprised that I didn’t and I don’t need to do that all the time.

Right now, I feel like I’m about to cry, so I had to look for other options. So, here. blogging.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not mad or I don’t feel anything negative towards my professors, because I really don’t have any. Believe me, I love them, especially Ms. A who is, most likely the one who pressures us the most, but really, I love her and I have nothing against her. (Sometimes, the ones who gives you the goosebumps even by just seeing them, or the ones who gives the hardest things to do, are the ones who becomes your favorite.)

and of course, the very thing that makes me tense, and I bet the others as well, is the panel interview for the minor track that we’re choosing. It’s the anxiety towards which minor to choose because you’re still having second thoughts, where you really think you’d excel on, or where you’d be placed by them based on how you’re going to answer in the interview. I’m thinking that I may end up in a minor that I don’t really like but was placed there cos I wasn’t qualified to my first option, or that I may end up liking the one where I am not placed.

SO right now, I don’t know which to work on first or what decisions to make. thoroughly anxious and pressured. BRB, dodging head on the wall.


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