I used to believe in love and all it’s beauty.
I was a hopeless romantic. A damsel in distress, waiting patiently for that ‘knight in shining armor’ to save me.
I used to love watching proposals, anniversary surprises and the like. I used to think that someday, I’d get to have my own and would also want to tell the world about it.
I used to believe that when you truly love someone, nothing will ever be hard to take, and that it’ll last.
There came a time where I thought I was already in that final moment.
It was something I can’t explain, and all I can say was ‘finally’..
They say that you know he’s the one you really want to spend your life with when you unconsciously stopped looking. Realized this just when someone told me this quote or something.. I did stopped. It felt like he’s the only guy I’d want to be with.
I know it’s too early to tell, but it’s amazing how it’s the first time someone had made me feel that way. Like.. I didn’t want anything more.
I was contented with us.. I was simply happy.
It’s crazy how I can already picture our future, the same time he was telling me his plans. We talked what name we want to give to our child, how he’d want me to be beside him all the time, if possible. Even how he’d pull off a big surprise proposal for me because that’s how much he loves me. I mean, that’s what he said. Maybe that’s what he just thought..
But then it all just ended. Just when I thought it wouldn’t.
I was given up. Everything I thought was real was given up.
Every word, promise, plans, effort.. Just got lost. Everything I believed in suddenly became lies.
Then, all of what I used to believed in, wished for, and wanted is now what I am doubtful with, what I fear of and is starting to just ignore.
Every hopefulness just faded because once upon a time, I believed. Until I was proved wrong that love is an amazing thing..
I used to. But not anymore.